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| Four Ears | ||
 Article by Clive Miller |
People make very poor listeners. We are wired to hear only sounds that matter to us, RIGHT NOW! Not so long ago, in evolutionary terms, we had no words. Fifty thousand years ago communication depended on the emotional intent expressed in body language and a collection of grunts and wails. Any unknown sound was a potential source of danger. Today I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. You have probably heard this before. You already know how hard it is to listen effectively. You will have experienced the frustration of other people remembering the same conversation differently. You have probably often said, "I didn’t say that". Here is a way to make sure you hear the things that you need to hear, when you speak with your customers and prospects. Learn a checklist. For this method to work, you must learn your check list so well that you can recite it while you are tossing pancakes! If you have to think about it, you haven’t learned it. Your checklist must be as ingrained as multiplication tables. The first thing on my list is ‘name’. You know how awkward it is if you forget it. Next on my list is ‘will we get on together easily?’ I let my inner eye answer this question. If you are meeting face to face, use your eyes to listen with. Asking yourself at the beginning of a first meeting will prompt you to notice any friction in your communication. Catching disharmony early allows you to adapt your style and improve rapport, before first impressions set in concrete. How people are measured and rewarded effects behaviour so this is the subject my third reminder. Even if you don’t direct the conversation towards personal measurement, you will still get clues if you listen well. I like to learn about people’s career history because this is the most reliable predictor of what they will do in the future. What a person wants in their life effects their decisions and actions so, listening for personal vision pays dividends. Finally I ask myself if I have established rapport and won their respect. People make swift judgements about others. Quickly formed first impressions are a left over from early human development. It doesn’t matter weather they are accurate or not. Feelings of trust towards another usually depend on them. This is not a guide for asking better questions, although you may find it helpful for the purpose. It is not a qualification checklist, like MAN (money, authority, need), or any of its more sophisticated cousins. It is a pinch for reminding oneself to listen proactively for meaning, rather than only to spoken words. Name
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Published in the November 2000 SalesSense Inside View Newsletter.
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