
Article by
Clive Miller |
People make very poor listeners. We are wired to hear
only sounds that matter to us, RIGHT NOW! Not so long ago, in
evolutionary terms, we had no words. Fifty thousand years ago
communication depended on the emotional intent expressed in body
language and a collection of grunts and wails. Any unknown sound was a
potential source of danger. Today I hear and I forget. I see and I
remember. I do and I understand. You have probably heard this before.
You already know how hard it is to listen effectively. You will have
experienced the frustration of other people remembering the same
conversation differently. You have probably often said, "I didnt
say that".
Here is a way to make sure you hear the things that you need to
hear, when you speak with your customers and prospects. Learn a
checklist. For this method to work, you must learn your check list so
well that you can recite it while you are tossing pancakes! If you
have to think about it, you havent learned it. Your checklist must
be as ingrained as multiplication tables.
The first thing on my list is name. You know how awkward it
is if you forget it. Next on my list is will we get on together
easily?
I let my inner eye answer this
question. If you are meeting face to face, use your eyes to listen
with. Asking yourself at the beginning of a first meeting will prompt
you to notice any friction in your communication. Catching disharmony
early allows you to adapt your style and improve rapport, before first
impressions set in concrete. How people are measured and rewarded
effects behaviour so this is the subject my third reminder. Even if
you dont direct the conversation towards personal measurement, you
will still get clues if you listen well. I like to learn about
peoples career history because this is the most reliable predictor of
what they will do in the future. What a person wants in their life
effects their decisions and actions so, listening for personal vision
pays dividends. Finally I ask myself if I have established rapport and
won their respect. People make swift judgements about others. Quickly
formed first impressions are a left over from early human development.
It doesnt matter weather they are accurate or not. Feelings of trust
towards another usually depend on them.
This is not a guide for asking
better questions, although you may find it helpful for the purpose. It
is not a qualification checklist, like MAN (money, authority, need),
or any of its more sophisticated cousins. It is a pinch for reminding
oneself to listen proactively for meaning, rather than only to spoken
words.
Name
Inter personal compatibility
Performance measurement
Personal history
Expectations
Rapport and respect
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Published
in the November 2000 SalesSense Inside View Newsletter.
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